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The Introverted Executive Podcast is focused on helping Introverted women working within large organizations, rise to senior leadership -- WITHOUT networking. If you're tired of feeling overlooked and underestimated while you make it all happen behind the scenes, this is the podcast for you!

Apr 9, 2018

On today’s show, we will discuss ­­­How to Stop Crying and Screaming so you can Control the ripple effect of your emotions on others

Before we get started, I’d like to say hello to those of you who are listening in the UK, Ireland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Canada, Australia, Brazil, Mozambique, India and even China!

MAIN TOPIC

Tami:  ( STORY OF COFFEE LADY)  

Do you have a desire to be a senior leader within your organization?  If so, you do need to learn to manage your emotions. Have you seen overly angry women at work or at school?  

There are times and places where a proper display of anger may be necessary, but if this kind of anger is your default reaction to anything that slightly displeases you, you need to figure out what you need to do to change your reaction.  This kind of anger WILL get in your way on your road to success, and it is unacceptable, period.

If you remain that kind of angry in the everyday interactions you have with people around you, you will find that you get stuck exactly where you are, which will probably only make you angrier.

What about the desire to cry?  If you are someone who is very emotional, and it’s not anger you are over-displaying, but instead you cry all the time, is it possible you can learn to control this?  

 Yes - you can control your urge to cry!  Crying is not a bad thing, when it is done for the right reasons or in the right place.  Still, crying does have a very big impact on all the people around you, and it can be seen as manipulative, weak, or make you seem like you are not a person who is “in control.”  

This is the reason you should learn to recognize how and when you cry, and then decide if it is truly necessary each time.  You can make the decision to improve this emotional response and you will feel more powerful if you do learn to control it more often.

Let’s talk about Emotional Intelligence.  According to PsychCentral.Com, “Emotional intelligence or EQ, is more important than a person’s intelligence or IQ, in achieving success in their lives and careers.”

Is it worth the effort to change our EQ?  According to the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, here are some reasons you should try to improve your 

There are two major sides of EQ, one is how well we know and manage ourselves and our own emotions, the other is how well we recognize emotions in others and manage our interactions with them.

In a HBR article, Daniel Goleman describes 12 competencies within 4 domains that make up Emotional Intelligence.

[REFERENCE PHOTO - Click this link]

In the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, they describe a simpler, but very similar version of this.

[REFERENCE PHOTO - Click this link]

Take a close look at each one of these and consider how you might rate on each of these items.  If you buy the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, it does come with a code that will allow you to take a free EQ assessment test, which could give you clarity for what you need to work on first.

The examples of anger and crying at the beginning, fit squarely into the “Self-Awareness” and “Self-Management” domains.  These domains are heavily in your control.

According to Dr. W. Gerrod Parrott, a Professor of Psychology at Georgetown University, all emotions come form the basis of six general categories: Love, Joy, Surprise, Anger, Sadness, Fear.  He has broken these emotions into hundreds of related secondary and tertiary emotions. You can click the link in the show notes to see his chart.

[REFERENCE PHOTO - Click this link]

What are some concrete steps we can take to start improving our Emotional Intelligence right away?

  1.  Consider taking an EQ assessment exam, there are free versions available at various locations on the internet
  2.  Take a good hard look at yourself and what you want to improve in how you react emotionally, or in how you deal with others on a daily basis.  Make a small list of the most immediate changes you want to make
  3.  Think of times when you lost your temper or when you made the decision to cry.  How did this affect the others around you? Did you regret it? Did you wish you could rewind time and do something else instead?  After about an hour, how did you feel about the situation? When you think of the times that drudge up the most regret, those may be the actions you want to work on first. 

Once you have identified the emotion or competency you want to work on first, develop some strategies that you will employ for trying to correct the behavior.  

The Book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 includes 15 or more strategies for each EQ domain.  Given our examples today, of losing your temper or crying, you might try some of these.Adalida:  Time Machine:  

In this segment each week we will give a few points about women that have accomplished a lot! We also will discuss a bit about what was happening to women during the time periods. Someone we think you would like to know more about is:

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Inspirational Quote of the Week:

 

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.’”

-Mahatma Ghandi

  • It’s pretty cool that this quote can have different meaning for different people. I look at it as something that we do for this world can affect it greatly in the future. Whether it is recycling, helping with the latest form of technology, or even raising a child for success. Even though these are all different and vary to each person on importance, it still greatly helps the world.

 

Tami:  Book Review:

Genuine driven women read lots of books!  We’ll make sure to recommend a book each week that will inspire you or help you on your journey to success!

This week’s book is:

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

By Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

 

If you’d like to buy this book in any format, including the audiobook version for less than $10.00, click this link: https://amzn.to/2GK8KEy

We already discussed this book quite a lot, but this is a very useful book for a Genuine Driven Woman!

Click the link to buy the book (available in several formats):    https://amzn.to/2GK8KEy

 

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